“I’m slowly training him.”
I’ve heard this statement, in some form or other, in reference to husbands about various things: giving gifts, recycling properly, approving of a hobby that has taken over the house, complaining too much about a dirty home, etc. It seems a common trend now to “train” one’s husband to do as one likes. Women want to train their husbands to be romantic on special occasions, even if their hearts are not in it. Better yet, women want to train their husbands to force their hearts to be in it! Women want to train their husbands to do housework so that they don’t have to; or train their husbands to be accepting of any and all flaws present in them.
Is this the attitude a Christian wife should have? Perhaps personal reproach and diligence to alter faults is more conducive to a happy marriage than simply changing one’s spouse. Instead of throwing tantrums when we are not given a gift on our birthday or anniversary, maybe we should consider what gifts we have recently given. Instead of complaining about our husbands not helping with the household chores, maybe we should go about our own work cheerfully. Instead of saying “me, me, me,” maybe we should be saying “Him, Him, Him and him, him, him,” focusing our attention on our Father above and our husband at home.
The most beautiful thing is that when we stop criticizing and grieving and “training” our husbands, we heap blessings upon ourselves! When we do our housework diligently and with a merry attitude and happiness that we have something to clean, our husbands desire to help us. When we give freely and openly to all, our husbands bountifully give.
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Is slyly “training” someone an act of respect or of dissatisfaction, dishonor, and disdain? If your husband knew that you were “training” him to do things your way, would he be grateful or grieved?
I have not been married long, but I have found in that short time that a cheerful countenance, happy attitude, and joyful giving is the best way to love and respect my husband. He appreciates my diligence and blesses me continually with love, mercy, and reward. When I don’t ask, I receive. When I patiently endure, he apologizes. When I forgive, he seeks to change. When I work hard, he gladly assists. When I conquer my will for a time, he rejoices with me. When I experience hardship outside the home, he encourages and steadies me.
When I focus on Him, He blesses me.