I Deserve

I deserve better than this. I’m a good person; I deserve to be treated well. I deserve nice things, a big house, a new car, a handsome husband, well-behaved kids, a high-paying job, beautiful furniture, the latest fashion trends, the hottest new shoes.

Sound familiar? Everyone knows at least one person who has professed entitlement at some point, or perhaps we know we have said these things ourselves. The common belief today is that living a “good” life–giving to charities, volunteering at a homeless shelter, going to church, listening to clean music, recycling, “going green”, etc–should bring you good things. It is believed that these positive actions are grounds for deserving the best of everything. And when the best of everything doesn’t happen, people get upset… very upset. “But I deserve this promotion. I stayed late. I helped other people finish their work on time. I always submitted my tasks in a timely manner. I maintain a clean office. I give to the office charity. I buy gifts for expectant moms and attend every office party. I deserve more than what I have. I deservethebest of everything because of all the wonderful things I do.”

What have you really done, though? Have you ever told a little white lie because you thought it wouldn’t hurt anybody? Have you ever thought of your co-worker or neighbor or friend of a friend in any way other than as a sister/brother? Have you ever gotten too much change and decided to keep it? Have you ever illegally downloaded a copyright-protected movie or piece of digital art? Have you ever not loved your wife as you love your own self, as Christ loves the church, enough to die for her? Have you ever disrespected your husband, complained about him to your friends, emotionally beaten him down, manipulated him to give you what you want? Have you ever let something else take the place of God in your life, created an idol out of food, sex, work, children, money?

The fact is that everyone sins, everyonefalls short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). You actually deserve to go to hell. I know I do. I know that it doesn’t matter how many “good” things I do because Iwill always sin, for the rest of my life. And even if I could stop sinning, I’m sure I’d be proud of that and would be back at square one.

That is a difficult burden to face and accept. It’s hard to shirk the “I’ve done well, so I deserve good” mentality because it is drilled into our heads from birth. But you don’t deserve good things. You deserve hell.

That is a dark message–but there is a glorious, wonderful light! God is just… but He is also merciful. He sent His Son to die on the cross, to pay the debt of all in one act, so that we may be saved from what we deserve. God is GOOD! He looked upon us all with mercy, His creation a hopeless mess when left to themselves, and He did what few, if any, earthly fathers would be capable of doing–He sent His Son to die, He gave up One for the rest.

Next time you start thinking “But I deserve better”… think twice. Do you really want what you deserve? Or would you rather be saved by the grace and mercy of God? This is the God who created you, loves you. He knows exactly what you deserve, better than even you do… and He loves you enough to offer salvation from what you truly deserve.

Wives

“I’m slowly training him.”

I’ve heard this statement, in some form or other, in reference to husbands about various things: giving gifts,  recycling properly, approving of a hobby that has taken over the house, complaining too much about a dirty home, etc. It seems a common trend now to “train” one’s husband to do as one likes. Women want to train their husbands to be romantic on special occasions, even if their hearts are not in it. Better yet, women want to train their husbands to force their hearts to be in it! Women want to train their husbands to do housework so that they don’t have to; or train their husbands to be accepting of any and all flaws present in them.

Is this the attitude a Christian wife should have? Perhaps personal reproach and diligence to alter faults is more conducive to a happy marriage than simply changing one’s spouse. Instead of throwing tantrums when we are not given a gift on our birthday or anniversary, maybe we should consider what gifts we have recently given. Instead of complaining about our husbands not helping with the household chores, maybe we should go about our own work cheerfully. Instead of saying “me, me, me,” maybe we should be saying “Him, Him, Him and him, him, him,” focusing our attention on our Father above and our husband at home.

The most beautiful thing is that when we stop criticizing and grieving and “training” our husbands, we heap blessings upon ourselves! When we do our housework diligently and with a merry  attitude and happiness that we have something to clean, our husbands desire to help us. When we give freely and openly to all, our husbands bountifully give.

Ephesians 5:33
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Is slyly “training” someone an act of respect or of dissatisfaction, dishonor, and disdain? If your husband knew that you were “training” him to do things your way, would he be grateful or grieved?

I have not been married long, but I have found in that short time that a cheerful countenance, happy attitude, and joyful giving is the best way to love and respect my husband. He appreciates my diligence and blesses me continually with love, mercy, and reward. When I don’t ask, I receive. When I patiently endure, he apologizes. When I forgive, he seeks to change. When I work hard, he gladly assists. When I conquer my will for a time, he rejoices with me. When I experience hardship outside the home, he encourages and steadies me.

When I focus on Him, He blesses me.

Direction and Purpose

Visualize the following scenario: a parent lays a blanket on the floor and places his child on it. The parent wants the child to stay on the blanket because it’s the only safe place for her in the room. He gives the child some good toys to play with on the blanket. Each time the child strays from the blanket, the parent reprimands her in some way and returns her to the blanket.

There are a few things happening here. There is a loving parent and a typical child that tends to stray. There are boundaries that divide good things from bad. The child probably doesn’t understand why she can play with some things and not with others, and this may cause her to wander across the boundaries from time to time. The parent may or may not explain why something is off-limits–perhaps the explanation is too complicated for the child and she wouldn’t understand.

I am comforted knowing that my God is like the parent in this situation. My God lays out boundaries (do not covet, do not be a glutton, do not steal or murder, love your neighbor as yourself, etc) that give me a (mostly) clear line between what is acceptable and what is not. I do not always understand why something is off-limits, but I love my God and so I trust His judgment. God restricts me by placing some activities out-of-bounds, but blesses me with activities that are good (marriage, fellowship, joy, etc). When I wander beyond His boundaries, God, through the Spirit, rebukes me and sets me right again. I may stray 20 times in a day, but my God does not grow weary–He will always seek me and return me to His fold.

The most difficult part for me is trusting God’s judgment and having faith that God will bring me back to Him. Sometimes I focus too much on what I can do to return to God. Maybe if I read the Bible more or pray more fervently, I will be in fellowship with God. I always fail, though. I am never successful because the truth is, I cannot do anything in my power to be closer to God. I simply have to stop resisting His pull.

I read the Bible because God’s character is revealed in His word. I pray because God speaks through the Spirit if I am still and quiet enough to hear. I want to know God’s character. I want to hear God speak into my life. I desire fellowship with God and He answers this desire through His word and Spirit. What a blessing my God is!